Laimun

I was immensely moved this morning by a gesture of my elder sister, Laimun. It was nothing spectacular nor complicated. It was as simple as picking a flower or taking a bus. But it moved me totally – the way she put Tiger to sleep. For those who know my family situation well know Laimun has a handicap, but it has not stopped her for one moment in caring for Tiger. She is like a second mother to Tiger. She rocked him to sleep and then gently put him down in his crib. She did not leave the room immediately. Instead, she felt around his crib for his “sleep buddy”, Kalle Kanin, while being careful not to wake him up. She then thoughtfully placed Kalle Kanin sitting up and facing Tiger. This meant that Tiger will wake up to seeing Kalle Kanin and grab it with ease to play with it. I would never have thought of doing that, but Laimun did.

our dearest grandfather Olof

Lots of love and hugs go out to our dearest grandfather Olof, who passed away peacefully on 19 Dec 2010. He will be missed dearly by us. It is a shame that Tiger never get to meet his great grandfather who was such a doting elder to his father.

Farfar Olle, may peace and calm be with you as you as finally take your leave from all earthily matters.

is it me or is it Tiger and me?

I am facing an identity crisis.

how should I begin this post...

ALOT has happened during this one month hiatus from blogging. We moved out from Joo Chiat serviced apartment to our one-year leased HDB flat, then literally moved out of it on the same day, then got entangled into a tenancy dispute, then incurred some losses on resolving the tenancy, then got entangled (again) into a property agent misconduct dispute, then has been camping at my parents' place for almost a month, then Olof got a 3-month contract (finally!!) from Ericsson, then lil' Tiger turned 5 months old yesterday. *Pant* Thank goodness I can say all that in one breathe.

The tenancy dispute was, doubtless, the most challenging and frustrating period for us since we moved to Singapore. Candidly, it was ignorance and ill-informed of the rental practices in Singapore that caused us to land in this thick mud. It's interesting to note that the rental practices between Singapore and Sweden are the exact opposite of each other; Singapore protects the landlord, Sweden protects the tenant. We have learnt alot in this entire saga, but we paid quite a hefty price for it too. Much as we incurred some losses, however, it could have been worse if not we were lucky to meet a responsible property agent who at least uphold certain moral values and exhibit professionalism in his job. Although we are now out of the problematic lease, the issue is not completely over. We are still fighting to get back the commission we paid to our irresponsible and dubious property agent who was supposed to protect our interests in the tenancy but never did. Let's hope that justice is on our side. It is long overdue that this industry and many of its practitioners need to be shaken up and disciplined to truly act like a professional property agent providing trustworthy and quality services to its customers.

We very much hope to put that tenancy issue behind us soon... we have more important things to do - securing our livelihood. Olof has started a 3-month contract at Ericsson while I still do not have any job offers in my basket yet. It's really challenging to look for jobs and care for Tiger at the same time. Fortunately, I have the help of my family to share the task of caring for Tiger. I feel the need quickly return to the working world in order not to be disconnected from it. It's unfortunate for women here that the working world is not very forgiving if you decide to take a few years to care for your little one. Rejoining it after a hiatus of, say, 2 years is extremely difficult.

It has been an uphill start for us in Singapore. But we still believe that we made the right decision to move out of Beijing. Simply being able to go out for walks with Tiger as and when we feel like it and breathe in fresh air sums up the saying "money is not everything." No doubt times are a little teeth-griting for us now, but the stamina that we will build up from this uphill climb is certainly going to propel us ahead when we eventually reach the plateau.

Motherhood vs Livelihood

Tiger is 4 months old today and thanks to help from Family Yip, I finally have time to sit down and contemplate about the past 4 months. Of course, it is also because Tiger is taking longer naps now.

I am still adjusting to the new role of parent and at many times doubt if I will ever be a good one. The first few months of motherhood had been a tough one for me, with all of my expectations of raising a baby shattered. I did not expect that my baby is a crybaby, with colic, and have difficulties sleeping. Again, I have watched too much TV. I was, at a point, really depressed and did not enjoy caring for Tiger or being a mother.

Fortunately, things have improved and are still getting better. A big credit goes to my loving husband who is always by my side whenever I need him. What's more, he is a hands-on father who takes his fair share of changing diapers (day and night), sleeptime rocking, and playing with Tiger. In fact, he is much better than me in stimulating Tiger through play. I am the practical mom who cares more about his milk intake, poop color, number of wet diapers, and clearing the dirt inside his nose and ears, than knowing how to play with him.

That was in Beijing where I did not have to worry about livelihood.

Now that we have moved to Singapore, although I am closer to family and friends and get alot of support from them, the subject of livelihood is constantly on my mind, and so does Olof. We have taken a big step, albeit a risky one, to move to Singapore with none of us having a job placement. This means zero income and living on our savings for an extended period of time. And with a new addition to our family, the pressure is even greater.

But with livelihood being uncertain has its advantages too - it pushes us to make it work. It demands that we mine for extra energy within us to work doubly hard to feed our mouths. Well, for one thing, it helps to take some stress away from motherhood, as I barely have time to dwell on the difficult side of it!

As Tiger grows by the day, it always cheers us up every morning by just watching him wake up with a smile and his bright eyes searching for our faces.

our little tiger

Singapore

Finally... we finished our move to Singapore.

Here we are in the sunny island Singapore, with unlimited access to blogs, facebook and sorts. No longer do we need to discretely fish around for VPNs to gain access to the cyberspace.

The first few days after arrival were very hectic, as anticipated. Numerous trips were made to government authorities, countless calls were made to friends, business associates, and many cold showers taken to get ourselves adapted to the tropical weather of Singapore. *Gosh, it's really warm!*

We are enjoying our stay at the serviced apartment located at Joo Chiat, which is an area with very rich Malay and Peranakan flavor. One part of the serviced apartment are shophouses from the 1930s, mostly leased out to western families. The part we are staying is relatively new and multi-storeyed. We are very blessed to be able to stay in this pleasant and nice residence while waiting to move into our permanently leased HDB flat in the mid of Oct.

Many uncertainties still lie ahead, but at least we have a roof over our heads. Actively looking for employment notwithstanding, we are also adjusting ourselves to the nits and bits of everyday life here - taking public transport is a worthy mention. We haven't done that in more than 2 years!

Now that we have access to blogs and facebook, there is one excuse less to not update our blog more often. Ha! We hope to find time too to share with you this new phase of our lives too. So, keep tuning in ya...

winter's last struggle

After more than one month of dry spell, Beijing got some snow over the weekend, which also marked the end of the 15-day Spring Festival. As expected, there was free flow of fireworks yesterday. It started already on Saturday, culminating to a climax on Sunday evening after the sun went down. Seeing the entire sky lit by fireworks was no longer a novelty for us. We instead were quite irritated by the constant hum of explosion.Of course, we understood that people were just having their last bit of fun before the Chinese New Year drew an end. Olof said this was probably one of the most liberating moment for the Chinese in an entire year - the time of the year to really have some real fun. Maybe that's why so many Chinese were willing to spend the money (the fireworks are not cheap by the way) for such a short span of thrill. Anyhow, no harm with having fun, but a neighbour living in our condominium obviously decided to take his fun one step further by challenging the no-fireworks-in-our-condo rule. He lighted fireworks just outside our block. What's worse was the security guard on duty did nothing to stop him! We ringed the property management and told them to set up on enforcing the rule, which the security guard eventually stopped the man from lighting another fireworks. We did not complain to spoil his fun on purpose but rather because he was setting off fireworks in a very populated area, which constituted a fire danger. We saw the fireworks exploded right outside our windows. It wasn't beautiful, it was hairy.

Anyhow, another "new year" has begun and it's time to turn on our engines and start charging forward. There will be many changes for us in 2010, expecting a new life into our family notwithstanding. All in all, I hope everything goes well.

Embarking on a long haul flight when you are pregnant 4 months is really a feat, especially for those who are prone to motion sickness like myself. It's ironic that although I had quite bad nausea during the 1st trimester, I never once puked, but I actually vomitted on the flights both to and from Copenhagen! The human anatomy is really strange and beyond even one's own comprehension. I puke only when the plane landed and not any other times.

And pregnant women need to eat regularly. I mean, who doesn't if you want to keep a healthy physique. But it's all the more true for pregnant women, because otherwise they will feel faint or nauseaous, like what I experienced this afternoon. We both were so jetlagged that we couldn't even haul our arses to work. Of course, the heavy snow, slippery roads and gusting cold winds helped us to make an easy decision. And so we worked from home. When the afternoon clock stroke, I pondered about the lunch issue for a minute. We have almost absolutely no food at home to make a decent lunch. So we either have to brave the challenging weather or order food in. But none of us made the first move and the fleeting lunch thought soon passed over.

Trouble started to brew when the clock turned 1.30pm. I started to feel weak and faint, then it developed into nausea. Something which I (gladly)haven't had for weeks. I had to lie down. Only then did we realise the gravity of the situation and we acted to arrest it immediately by ringing Nyonya Kitchen restaurant for home delivery. At first they said home delivery service is terminated today due to bad weather. So I had to lure them with "Ask your delivery man to take a taxi. I'll pay for it." and fortunately, it worked. They came with food about half and hour later and by then it was already close to 3pm. Amazingly, nausea did vanish after I injested some food, although I conceded that it wasn't really tasty, it was just something to fill my stomach.

And here I am now eyes half-closed as my fingers continue to punch the keyboard... jetlag is striking again. My cosy bed is beckoning me...